(Y/n)

I just apologized for being a jerk and it turns out i didn't even say anything at all. It was all in my mind

 The place where optimism most flourishes is a lunatic asylum
                                   
                                    ________________
                                      Havelock Ellis

The little girl that calls me mom went over to where I was staying wanting to watch "ladybug"
          
          Me: Aww. . . I taught her well

I think I lost 25% of my brain cells, I keep opening the microwave like it's a cupboard. 

Shelby: You're still being weird.
          Finn: Well, what am I supposed to do?
          Shelby: You gotta slap him dude.
          Finn: Whaa??
          Shelby: Slap him with some real talk
          Finn: Oh
          Shelby: Stab him
          Finn: What?
          Shelby: With a giant syringe
          Finn: Wha?
          Shelby: Of respect
          Finn: Oh
           
               -Adventure time (S08 E: Horse and Ball)

My past self stashed me some candy in a box, but I am not sure if past me poisoned them.  I don't feel like risking it though.

I am taller than mY mom!!!

It's my mother's birthday

I didn't get to take care of the kids I helped take care of last week and the little girl asked "Where's mom?"

My whole family and I were all arguing and I'm stopping to correct their grammar