@Caramel-Adler as far as feedback for your story goes, there really isn’t much to say. The only I can tell you is it is sometimes a little difficult to read/understand when it goes from her thoughts/visions to what is actually out in the physical scene. So like when she sees a memory of the initial attack, versus when she is fighting the new assailants, maybe italics the memories to make it a little easier to see the difference. Then, if you choose to do that, if you want her personal thoughts like “calm down, Ori” or when the voices speak to her, to stand out, keep them italics but then bold them. For your actual writing quality and plot, I can’t tell you anything because what you want your book to be is in your mind and your mind alone. I understand that it can be hard to know what it is you want when you have self-doubt, insecurity, etc. Just follow your initial instinct, it’s typically right. ❣️❣️
