Im sorry for hardly being active and being on wattpad, hardly posting any new content for my fanfic. I’ve just been feeling depressed as of late.
I’m gonna be venting here so some trigger warning include sa and suicide
When I was young like around 4 I was sa by my dad. Then at 9 years old I was sa by my brother who was in his early 20s, it went on for 3-4 years, and I really hated myself for it. I wished I had said no, but then again I was young so I couldn’t have said much. My brother would come up to me and my sleep and touch me which would stir me awake. He would also make commends like ‘you won’t tell anyone right?’ Or ‘You’ll let me do this when your a teen’. He’d stopped once I was 12 since I evaded his attention and when he tried it i ran to my sisters room. When I tried telling my dad he didnt care.
After repeated sa I’ve developed my own cravings known as hypersexuality, I crave being touched so I m@sturbate which I pleasure myself but I feel really disgusted. I’ve tried to stop this urge but I just seem to can’t.
Its been 2 years now and I’m 14. I’ve been acting chill around my brother and his girlfriend until I remembered these things and suddenly started disconnecting myself from him. My sister came up to me and asked me why I was acting weird so I told her. And you know what she did? She justified his actions by saying he was just on drugs and I lashed out on her and kicked her out of my room.