celina says spook

@CelinaHamoto Method 1: Jumping Off
          	  Howtosuicide-building
          	  You will need:
          	  A good high building or cliff
          	  No regrets
          	  Optional equipment: A cape
          	  Locate a nice high building or cliff to jump off of.
          	  Go to the top.
          	  Jump.
          	  Do a flip.
          	  Do a barrel roll.
          	  Rinse.
          	  Repeat.
          	  Die.
          	  This method has a number of advantages. It's simple. It's dramatic. You can save on funeral costs and have yourself buried in a pizza box. On the other hand, if it's raining, your clothes will get soaked and your body will just wash down the drain. Also, it's just not terribly original. Dozens of people try to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge every year. Boring. (Make sure to do the flip cause you never know, you might get a perfect ten.)

@CelinaHamoto If you plan to do this, then you will need to know the various methods of committing suicide. These particular methods have been painstakingly researched and you will have a 99.997% chance that you will be dead. In addition, following these methods will change how people think of you. Some of them will think you are a maniac, others will think that you're desperate, while a select few will realize that they love you but only once you're dead. But whatever you do, just do it!

@CelinaHamoto There are many reasons to commit suicide: girlfriend, life, job, Uncyclopedia, 4chan, or any number of teeny bopper/emo/scene reasons. But you need specific reasons to commit suicide, if you just commit suicide for the hell of it, then it wouldn't count. You'd just be doing so for your own enjoyment, you selfish jerk. Shame on you for even considering it. Now that you are properly ashamed, you have one more reason to add to your list. Some of the valid reasons to commit suicide are included in a convenient list for you below:
          	  Your boyfriend/girlfriend/mom/whore left you.
          	  Your wife/mom left you for your boyfriend
          	  You broke your favorite thing by playing with it too much
          	  A grue is about to do the job for you.
          	  Your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend/kitten/whore is about to do the job for you.
          	  You got banned from Uncyclopedia for being an idiot.
          	  You just realized that life isn't worth living. (See Previous)
          	  You wasted all your money on "I Love Osama" commemorative plates
          	  You are emo and thus it is your duty to commit suicide
          	  Demons have staked a claim to your underwear drawer
          	  If you just kill yourself without cause then you cannot set your soul free. Then again, if you just kill yourself it would be much faster and easier.