Chaantiquee

im such a coward, i mean already know my life is useless. just being a heavy burden to everyone who i think by their behaviour to me kind of love me or at the latest has me in their heart. 
          
          But despite knowing how i make them has hard time i cant force myself to end my life. 
          And i know with me gone at least they would be able to focus to their life.
          
          And i should take my dad with me...we are both a sinner that doesnt deserve has long life. 
          We both have burdened my mom and my brother and my sister in law and my sweet dearest nephew.
          
          tell me, what kind of suicidal way that wont hurt much but achieve the death. 
          
          and should i take my father with me or not??
          
          you know has a daughter that suicide must be sooo fucking much better than a daughter that a killer but also suicidal.
          
          i am soooo soooo stupid you know, my brain capacity cant handle delicate method or way of thingking.
          
          tjih....ugly, old, peniless, jobless, useless.....what good am i to keep on this life.
          
          

wow....you are sooooooo over with all what you just write me.
          
          
          ewwwww........really really ewww

and dont look for God also.
          
          
          He is always available....
          
          
          but you shit on every bless you got from Him, me.....
          
          
          just stay in the corner and keep silent.
          
          

you piece of useless shit....waste thing.
          
          garbage.
          
          still feel you have something on you.
          
          ewwwwww......
          
          asshole.
          
          me....you really dont deserve what you already got on this life time.
          
          you waste it all.....
          
          
          i mean.....

acting soo sad with what you write on this apps...
          
          
          what for.
          
          are you asking for symphati or what....
          
          you dont deserve it.
          
          remember who you are and what kind of fuck up you are.
          
          
          ewwwww....
          
          
          you should feel disgusted with yourself.
          
          for having none of cell in your brain.
          
          ewwww.....you are just eww me....ewww...

i mean she is old...what do you expect.....
          
          she got all the right to outburst anytime she want.
          
          she is suffering from all your shit tho....
          
          you have to remember that she is still more suffer and broken because of you.
          
          already and still happening.
          
          you dont deserve her. 
          

anyway me, you hurt your mother feelings too many times....she raise you for nothing. 
          
          only to make her suffer.
          
          shame on you me....shame on you.
          
          dont you ever think you can die now.
          
          you need to pay for your sin me......
          
          you have too.
          
          

i mean why should i fell hurt each time someone say to me hurtful thing.
          
          i should already in a state of "mati rasa" tho.
          
          when everytime they swear at you, you should already feel nothing. 
          anyway they might not swear all the time. just a lil' bit of angry.
          
          coz' anyway i am nothing already. 
          just a being with no existence.
          
          just like what mother said....you have nothing on you.
          all you got on you, got you nothing in the end because of you...because of your own selfishnes and stupidness.
          
          keep quite me.....keep silent.....just let it go.
          
          feel less...feel nothing.
          
          that's the best.
          
          for the people around you....so they will less annoy with you.....
          
          and never felt broken heart also....you already crashed it with your own hand. 
          
          you got no heart to be broke.
          
          so dont feel anything me.....dont....
          
          keep on dead.
          
          for you already has no soul dear me...

Maaf,ijin promosi..
          
          Akhirnya aku membuat cerita gay bertema mafia,mafia pada dasarnya dari rusia dan italia,kali ini aku membuatnya berbeda!mafia dari timur tengah
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/322434744?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=Svtorre&wp_originator=RT0PtTAcFuHdp1rBSlP83fuKEYpWLPdmA1dkCdwsEzO4xekYfeMhDjohXCV%2BnH6oeOWOmhA%2FPMfymvK3ZYTFw%2BXnZuXo%2F%2BeKkWBt4NQmmRi%2BG8MzJ%2BBeOPGlLSt7r38S

Shit Dear God, Dear Jesus....why cant you make my sister life easier please!!!! Its hurt soooooo fuckin much seeing both of them hurt in that kind of way!!!!
          
          I call Your name again today Dear Jesus...please help them....its really hurt me seeing them constantly battle with their own bad tought because of everyday life and cant stop pretending to present them look okay every single time in front of me and every peope in their life.
          
          My sista Mey and Ira....please stop hurting yourself with bad tought......
          
          
          Especially my sista Ira....i hate it when she hurt herself like that.