and on today's story of.....IS IT ADHD, AUTISM, OR JUST ME?
I say and do things I don't mean and I never really think before I do them and it effects people around me till they get sick of it and leave me which is understandable it just makes me feel bad in the end for making them feel so uncomfortable around me and I can't tell if those around or my friends actually like me or don't want me to do another stupid thing out of impulse. Everyone who's cut contact with me did it over text or letter and it makes me think that they didn't feel comfortable telling me in person, then I overthink and I dunno. I never really notice then damage I cause until it's too late and I never know how to apologize cause half the time I don't care at all and the other half I care too much to the point where I hate on myself and spiral. Everytime I try to apologize it dosen't even feel real like it's not me feeling actual empathy for the person I bothered.
lol sorry for the rant I don't wanna actually talk to anyone inparticular abt this