You know a wise man said: 
Always salt your pasta
-(spoiler it was a chef) (really, you don't want your spaghetti stuck together)

Do you think Die Hard is a Christmas movie?

When I die I want to be reincarnated as a cat, so I can get all the tuna that I like. Tunas are delicious.

Always know what kind of bit your computer is. It really sucks when you downloaded the wrong bit. It's painful.