Jade Willow

@Chat_Noir1mine what the hell is viper 

I hate life right now....... girls will get this...... I'm on my "." in other words, I'm in my "time of the month."
          
          
          So I'm grumpy....... and that means i might punch my older brothers girlfriend in the face if i hear her shitty ass moans that sound like a dying kangaroo haveing a stroke and sezire at the same time while giving birth to a hippo. Yeah, it's that bad. I'm surprised that she hasn't scared my brother off yet with those demon-like moans!! Or that my ears are still intact on my head! correction it's a miracle..... Oh shit she moanin right now as i type..... imma have some beating up to do tonight!

So today, at school, one of my guy-friends, who lately has been having trouble with girls and stuff. Like, when he usually goes up and asks a girl out, they would IMMEDIATELY say yes, but recently, that has not been the case. Like, now, if he walks near a girl or even TALKS to them, they would run away! AND YES! THEY WOULD LITERALLY RUN THROUGH THE HALLWAYS TO GET AWAY!!!  I myself have noticed this strange behavior of the girls and tried to do some ✨ INVESTIGATING ✨
          
          So I went around and asked some of the girls what's wrong aaaaand...
          
          I got nothin.
          
          
          So at lunch, he came up to me and asked me something. I thought "Hehe, this is my PERFECT chance to toy with him and make him feel insecure and self-aware of how he looked every time he steps out of his house...hehe...... REVENGE IS NEAR!!!"
          
          I know, u might think smth is mentally wrong with me. You're absolutely right. jk tho. I just wanted to toy with him as revenge cuz a few weeks ago he pulled a prank on me and embarrassed me in front of the WHOLE school and I have been something we call at school, the "hot topic" for weeks and when i say "hot topic" I mean "the most embarrassing student that bitches will snicker when ever she walks in a room and jocks tease her about her ass and more bitches picking on her because of that and no one will stop talking about her. Not in a good way." yeahhh and I'm still the "hot topic" but anywayssss don't worry, there is nothing mentally wrong with me... maybe... hopefully...
          
          so BACK ON TOPIC!!
          
          Here was the convo I had with my guy-friend:
          
          The dude: "Hey, Jade?"
          Me: "Yeah?"
          The dude: "Can I ask you something and you give me your honest opinion?"
          Me: "Yeah, man, sure. Go on."
          The dude: "Am I ugly?"
          ...
          Me: "God made no one ugly..."
          The dude: "Thanks Jade, I knew I could rely on y-
          Me: "...But who the fucking hell made you? One things for sure, they fucked up!"
          The dude: "*Shocked face...* Wha-.... *a few minutes processing what I just said*...OH COME ON!! *stomps away*"

My Diet Plan:
          
          Step 1: Make all of my friends cupcakes.
          Step 2: Give them the cupcakes.
          Step 3: Keep giving them cupcakes every day.
          Step 4: Wait.
          
          The result: The fatter they get, the thinner I look!
          
          Problem Solved.

I don't have an attitude problem.
          
          You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
          
          So fuck off.
          
          Thank you.

Hey girlll, idk if u remember me but I got logged out of my main account and I can't get back in it! So I made a new one.. I was wondering if u could follow me back?? 

Today I sent out a text on my friends' group chat saying, "Hey, I lost my phone, will anyone call it?"
          
          
          18 people called me...
          
          I need smarter friends.

When my friend doesn't come to school:
          
          5% " I hope they're okay."
          
          95% "That BITCH!! How dare they leave me alone in this hell with the demons!"

Ya'll...
          
          It takes a REAL skill to choke on air, fall up stairs, and trip over completely nothing...
          
          Hehe.
          
          I have that skill.

Don't make me mad and then tell me to calm down. 
          
          That's like shooting someone and then wondering why they're bleeding and why they died.