Greetings to all humans,
It is my duty, as the evil queen of Saturn, to read the awesome stories written by you humans. This is the reason I have come here, to this website. I might even share some of my stories or poems with you. 
I also love making new friends, it doesn't matter whether you are a human or an alien. As long as you're nice to me, I will be nice to you too. But if you piss me off, I will send you off to the Saturnian dungeon, and keep you there , until I make up my mind on whether to behead you or not. If I decide to behead you...well, then rest in peace. If I decide not to behead you, have an awesome time in the dungeon, with the dragons and dinosaurs. 
Please be aware of one more thing : My degree of sarcasm depends of your degree of stupidity. 
Thank you for reading. 

With evil love,
Me,
Queen of Saturn.