I read your message on my board and like I said I obviously understand what you are going through because I feel the same.
Yet, I did some thinking and I’ve realized this. Other people don’t really matter, you matter to yourself before anybody else. I guess when things get tough the best thing you can do is let go and focus on thinks that you like doing.
Maybe you like fan fictions? Haha go at it read a whole bunch of them, really love yourself.
I feel like when you are your best self you attract better things into your life and you need to remember that you are never alone.
Much love xx