As a bit of self advertising, I'm putting a quite frombthe 12th chapter of TMFB, being futher updated on AO3.
"In the end, that's what he wanted, wasn't it? To feel normal; to BE normal? To live quietly without troubles, to live without the obligation of carrying forward the legacy of those who had no desire for his existence in the first place? Maybe it was only natural to feel this way, maybe he had known all along it'd always be unobtainable for a man like him to gain such peace."