CodaCosm0

I just want to say sorry in advance for what I'm doing to Lightbulb.
          
          the things here, (just like almost everything else in this book,) are things that I've experienced. 
          
          
          currently getting into that feeling of not being able to do anything. you cant speak up, cant help, you just have to watch it all go down while you do nothing. your paralized, you can hear what's going on around you, but yet your also so far out of touch that even the simple act of being there feels like your watching everything in a third-person view... behind a screen or glass wall that your mind can't pass.
          
          I probably need help if this is the stuff I had to experience ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“Ya see th- the rain is nice but… I- I don’t really like getting wet.
          W- what in the world? No I- I went under the awning it’s..  it’s still raining! ..Why is it still raining?!
          
          I did what I was supposed to…
          
          
          ..That’s not fair…”

Yall. I'm sorting through all of my songs! 41 down, 319 to go.
          
          and then I have to sift through all of the songs ive been juggling in my history area. that's another 50-

Yall I was finally using the "What does Catatonic state mean?" tab that ive had open for months and oh damn I kinda relate to some of these. this is getting riskyyyyyy-

The shared acc got taken over, should I make my own?
          
          sadly, to prevent it from being taken over again, Ima make the password a bit harder to obtain. not to difficult, and you can always ask me for it anyway, but I don't want another acc stolen. if this does indeed get stolen, then I guess no one gets to have fun anymore

Also, Ive been considering streaming. I already brought it up on my community tab on YouTube but I do want to! 
          
          If I do end up streaming, it will be more of a "suprise chill stream where you get to see me draw for who knows how long until I get sidetracked." kind of thing. just a nice calm area where I'm probably going to get copyrighted because I refuse to not play my music when drawing.
          you can just hang out there, ask questions, that sort of sillyness. or you can just observe from the other side of a glass wall. that's fine too! (Found a way to sneak you in here as well, Beniver.)
          
          still probably wont stream, sense my mom is highly against it and thinks i'm just going to fall into a relationship with a 65y old man(havent told her I'm aroace) or something, but streaming seems fun anyway.

MR chapter 12, "Loosening Bonds" is going along pretty smothly! 1965 words so far, and we just barely got back to Lightbulb again! Wahooo!
          
          sadly, I cant give any lore without spoiling one of the biggest parts of the plot. unless I segment it and leave it even more vauge then it wouldve been if I used the normal notes. though, I do have something to talk about relating to MR which is more of a minor detail.
          
          ima just get the trauma responses out of the way. you can see how this whole ordeal affected them.. (very much.)
          Lightbulb’s trauma responses: Chronic pain headaches, Changes in behavior, Difficulty functioning, Loss of interest, Numbing, emotional overwhelm, Little memories. Feeling out of body.
          Paintbrush’s trauma responses: Anger issues, Feeling on guard or alert, Irritability, Feeling unreal, Flashbacks.
          
          both of them have catatonic episodes (for Lightbulb it might be this chapter actually) Paintbrush is more mentally resiliant, so it's more of "what did you say?" after a minute, while lightbulb just loses all contact with the world. (same honestly)
          
          thinking about it, I do have lore for MR. as everything matters on the strength of your mental state. if your mental is weak, it takes hold very easily, and quick at times. if your mental is strong, your pretty much immune to an extent.
          
          
          Sorry about MR going into a semi-hiatus status! Turns out having a non-existent mental state and hidden depression don't mix well when trying to write or draw. I'm just trying to have fun with what I do for now until I feel a bit better, even doing the cover for Make Your Own Reality when I feel like singing!   hope yall understand! Sorry again. 
          
          May school be as non-stressful as possible for you! see ya fools /pos    *waves agressively and vanishes*

yall, It makes so much sense now. I most likely have OCD. IT MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE- AAAA-
          
          I finally know why I'm always wanting my spelling, writing, drawing, animation- they all have to be top notch. and I beat myself up over it constantly.   (there's nothing you can do to fix this. I just work like this half-hazard goofball all the time)
          it also explains why I check my notifications(on Wattpad) any time I stop for a break. Writing a story? "Oop! Better check to see if anyone is talking to me! Dont wanna ghost them!"  (and that's probably why I comment so much lol-) AND why I both get interested in lore, (being more of a 'behind the scenes therorist) and love writing lore and secrets myself.
          
          I'm probably also this emotionally attached to II because of my OCD. 
          this video right here (while not a diagnostic) is why I'm so concrete in me having this condition. https://youtu.be/u_qfAtvX8Os?si=wZDPxJg1bmrFEjfR
          (along with my literal mom telling me that me and my twin might have it. having doctors for parents really pays off sometimes! :D)

I’ve started to do evert design that Glowbulb is seen with in the chapter arts. And upcoming chapters throughout the arcs as well!
          I’ve also all the MR art down a bit so it’s all in one area. (As of now it’s still only Glowbulb)
          
          
          Here’s your daily loredrop! You had to expect this from someone who has 1444 words of just straight up lore dedicated to MR. (Can’t wait to see how chaotic TSL will get)
          
          
          Glowbulb now has alts. Consisting of a mix between Glowbulb and either Lightgod(also Lacklamp sense the personalities are so closely intertwined), Petra, and Nullbulb. What does this mean? Why did I make individual ’characters’ out of them based solely on what it does to Glowbulb? That will be figured out next chapter. As you’ll see Glowbulb’s personality starts getting (purposefully)inconsistent.
          
          Some more notes: “ The area where the gate resides is on the top level, a large caved-in section serves as a portal of sorts, leading the energy out from Abeory, and into the surrounding area, though getting trapped by the mist. A large spring of water resides at the bottom of the gate, the rocks from previous cascades blocking it from going anywhere else. The crystals at the spring mimic healing.”
          
          Have fun in the white or yall! :]

Writing lore is fun.
          
          
          sorry(not really) for the panic, but the electricity you see that Glowbulb has? hah. That's not hers. she's connected to more than just Paintbrush. speaking of, it finally got a hold of them! *Cellibration* Smoke manipulation! YIPPEEE!
          
          
          Ive decided on what MR Lightbulb is gonna be called! As of now, Painty dont have a name, and I dont think they need one. might come up with some, but it's not neccesary.  
          Lightbulb's now known as Glowbulb for most of the story! but will also be refered to as Lightlinger near the end. that seems to make the most sense in my head at least. you'll see why.
          
          for now, Glowbulb is it! But you might see me interchange the names every now and then depending on what state she's in.
          
          istg, Abeory. I KNOW YOUR IN TROUBLE AND ON THE BRINK OF SHATTERING. 
          ...NO I KNOW YOU AND THE VOID  ARE PARALELLS. WHAT DO YOU NEED FROM US? ME AND PHANTOM ARE THE ONLY BEINGS HERE! just... go ask the vessels for help. we both got our own, and you already got yours intertwined with your own problems anyway.