Hello, crew of Normandy! I am Commander Leafy, your temporary captain of this ship while Shepard is on shore leave with his/her date. I was hoping you wouldn't ask me why or who he/she's with because I don't want to ruin his/her day.

NOW! Instead of lazing around this tin can. Want to see my collection of Mass Effect fanfics- He-Hey! Where are you all going?! I was getting to the best part! Hey! Come on!