CompletelyAnonymous

HELLO

Never cringed so hard reading chapter 5 as I did a few minutes ago. What even was that last scene? Who even talks like that? 
          
          I’m editing that shit till it’s out of my memory. Fuck that. 
          
          Oh yeah I’m gonna make this one announcement: I may occasionally post shit here. You’re welcome to check in every now and then to see if I do anymore self roasts. 
          
          I’m gonna send this to you guys and that’s it. I don’t like when authors over excessively announce stuff to followers. 

I’m taking a tiny break from my werewolf comic as I have multiple ideas going on in my head and decided to take your advice and write my Pokémon fanfic myself. It took me a while to muster up the motivation to attempt to write and I was wondering if you would leave comments on anything you’d think could be improved. I tried to keep all of the characters in character. Click here to get to my profile to read my fanfic. @10RedFunny It’s called Child of Darkness.

I have a character profile for a story I’m attempting to create and I was wondering if you could provide feedback. Just please don’t copy off my idea because I’ve been working on it for years.
          
          Who’s the Hero
          
          A young boy who's been suffering from anxiety since his dad abused him as a toddler while he was drunk. He discovers that he's a werewolf and has to learn how not to let his fear control him.
          
          Problem
          
          The hero is nervous and uncomfortable when in the company of others. He's easily frightened and worries about almost everything. He lacks the confidence to do anything outside his comfort zone.  
          
          Life
          
          The hero avoids everyone outside his family and barely leaves his room. He has to see an annoying therapist on Wednesdays and is constantly sent home from school with a fever. He doesn't have the courage to make friends and avoids taking dares.
          
          Shard of Glass
          
          The hero was traumatized when he was abused by his dad while he was drunk.
          
          Want
          
          The hero wants to run away because if he does he believes he can escape all of his emotional problems.
          
          Roadblock
          
          The hero wants to run away but his mom would track him down and ground him for life.
          
          Need
          
          The hero needs to learn to not let his fear control him and cause him to make bad decisions. 
          
          Redeeming Quality
          
          The hero has a sweet and loving mother who would do anything to protect him from harm.
          
          Enemy
          
          The hero's dad was once a good person but after he got addicted to wine he became abusive. The hero was bruised and battered until his mother found out and called the police.

Like I said before I’m a terrible writer therefore I can’t write anything good but I can come up with ideas. 
          
          I read some books on Wattpad about street gangs where their are the crime lord has a daughter and kidnaps his wife and all that stuff because I read the Outsiders in class at my old school and that got me thinking.
          
          What if the roles were reversed.
          
          What if a crime queen had to not only run a criminal empire but to take care of her son who’s a little kid without revealing her criminal activities.
          
          For extra drama maybe the kid could be sick or kidnapped by a rival gang or something.
          
          You can choose to write this idea but don’t do it if you don’t want to. 
          
          I’d write it myself but like I said I’m a terrible writer and am never happy with what I put on paper.

What if you wrote Alister from Pokémon Shield as a son of Artemis. You could just modify him to fit the Percy Jackson universe.
          
          Here’s a Save the Cat bio of what Allister could be in the book.
          
          Who’s my Hero: A mute boy who can see and befriend the dead.
          Problem: Suffering trauma since he had Lazarus Syndrome at four.
          Life: Wears a mask in public, hasn’t spoken in years, hangs with ghosts
          Goal: To scare people away so he can be left alone.
          Life Lesson: To seek support from family and friends.
          Redeeming Quality: Is actually really sweet and loving.
          
          This is Artemis’s profile which is also in Save the Cat style.
          
          Role: Mother
          Additional Information: She’s very worried and is trying to help her son through his trauma.
          
          It would be interesting to see Artemis care about a boy especially since it’s her son who’s going through issues.

Question to people discovering my strange Perstia book: How did you guys find it?

I'm doing minor edits for HiWtHi and like holy shit was my writing atrocious:
          
          "...this was no glare of temporary anger. It was a glare of jealousy and anger."
          
          Like how did you guys survive past chapter 3? I need to work on this to not give the wrong idea that something as cringy as this can make it to 60k reads.

I am your 100 follower;)

Thanks to the bunch of people who pointed out minor grammar / spelling errors. I'll make the amendments when I do a full edit of the original book. It really does help. I hope you don't assume I'm angry about it with no reply, because a) it's your right to comment, b) You're helping me improve the story, no matter how small the error and c) It's my fault for not proofreading clearly enough. So the comments really do help. Keep them coming.