Domtuber
Here's some feedback I have to offer:
Try getting a better realization of where commas should go in a sentence so it doesn't run on for a while (not hate, suggestion. It's a great story concept). And when she's in the hospital bed, and then suddenly at the coffee shop, you should add some way to signify a time skip (example: "••••••••").
Found a similar user on the "What if?" app, so I gave you feedback even though it may not be you. Cheers!