Wow, so its been a little while, huh? Surprised to see me? Me too, honestly.
Some context as to what's been happening lately, since I really just up and left with a broken promise; just a couple months ago, I was living in a very toxic place around a very toxic person. I'd name this person if I wasn't afraid they'd literally sue me for defacing them on a writer's website. But this person tried to control every aspect of my life, from telling me when I needed to wake up from when I needed to eat and sleep, and when I should work on my hobbies and for how long. As you can guess, this got very tiring very quick when they kept saying they were "trying to help me" when in the end, they were trying to use me.
I had to live in this awful living situation for almost a year before I had enough and forced my hand; I left. But during that time, I lost all motivation to work on anything; music, my book, hell, even making tiny YouTube videos on my phone became tiresome (these videos never saw past editing, so don't try and find them, they don't exist on the internet). I tried to better myself with this guy's constant "motivation" and it all just became a chore when he would force me to work on my hobbies when all I wanted to do was work my babysitting gig I was working for them while I was there. They would guilt me into living my life by their terms, and even manipulated my family, primarily my sister, against me.
First off, I wanna say I'm sorry for making a promise to be more active and didn't keep it. I've lately been making a lot of promises I can't keep, and I need to be better about it. I won't promise to be more active, because I don't know if I'll be able to stay true to that. But I will promise to work on this book as much as I can now that I'm back in a loving environment, free to explore my creativity at my own pace.
Thank you all for being so understanding and sticking with me through all of this. I couldn't explain in words how much it means to me.
- CF
