Grace* and I were talking before she left. It was the exact same conversation as it had always been.
Me: Can you help me?
Grace*: with?
Me: you know. My feet, eyeballs, elbows, and follow through.
Grace*: *laughs* *gets up*
*we stand at the line and shoot*
Grace*: why do you ask me to help you every night? I am going to tell you the same thing every time until you get it right every time.
Me: I don't know. Maybe it is because I need a constant. I need someone who I know will always push me. I need confidence, if not in myself, then I need someone who has confidence in me. I don't really need to ask you the same question every night, but it helps me to know that somebody has faith in me.
Grace*: Do you have faith in you?
Me: honestly, only the smallest amount, and that is only when I do something brilliant.
*she passes me the ball and nods to the basket*
Grace*: Then show me something brilliant.
*she smiles*
*I shoot and it make it perfectly*
*look over to her for confirmation*
*she smiles at me and goes to get her stuff*
But the ending was different. And today, the end was the best part. ❤️
April*: This makes me happy!
Me:Why?
Me: I mean, it makes me happy too, but why?
April*: Because you are happy and you aren't worrying about anything!
She has that effect on me. When I can't stop worrying, I think of our after practice conversations. When I feel rushed in practice and I can't make any shots (especially when we do three lines) I look at her and imagine her saying, "Slow down. Breathe." And I make it. I am still going the same speed, but my mind slows down. My heart slows down. Everything gets covered in happy.
*Names have been changed to protect identity.