Hopefully no one sees this but
Tw// self harm
I did it again ... And im not dissapointed .
Im not mad and i dont feel bad , im not okay but i dont know what i feel . I know i hate my body , i just wanna be pretty and i hate hearing stupid compliments , theyre lies and i know it . People might feel like theyre actually listening to me but truth is i dont wanna be heard , whenever i rant i want them to forget so they feel comforted by the me i created tht is slightly the real me .
Whenever i cut i feel relieved , i love them .
I love my deep marks , im not insecyre about them . And yeah when it comes to sexual kinks it is one of mine .
But when i do it when im sad , i feel it so naturally . Like the razor is an exstension of my body and as if its okay that it deeply grazes my skin .
Im sorry if this is dark , im sorry i feel like this .
And if you guys see this , please im begging dont give me any pity , i cant stand it anymore.
I dont know whats wrong but i gotta surpress it , ive been doing it for almost 5 years now . Because if i talk about how i feel ill just be “ victimizing myself “
I hate it here , can you guys tell
Me neither
Anyways , ill try updating another chapter