Danny Deceito

just read back last years pride month post… f*ck man. 
            i am another year older and it’s crazy. and in the next post, i’ll be another year older, and the next, and the next. 
            turning 18 didn’t feel scary at all, even though it’s my first year as an adult and all that. i’m going to be turning 19, and for some reason, that is a hell of a lot scarier. maybe because i will have been an adult for a whole year and done nothing progressive whatsoever. yeah… surely not that…
            i digress. this post isn’t about my existential crises, it’s about being gay!!! so go be gay everybody. this is the last day for it! and i’ll see you all in the next one. danny, out. 

@mewhoisbored cause idk how notifs work on here lol

hi charlie, i wish i saw this earlier but i’ve had a kind of hectic six months and a lot can change in six months, so idk if what you said still applies to you, but i’d like to reply to it anyway. 
            
            i understand what you mean completely. i had always identified as a female and was comfortable with that and i have a lot of friends who are trans/nonbinary, so when i started thinking “hmm other pronouns seem pretty nice” i thought i was faking it to be like them. i also had a similar thing with my sexuality. the first time i thought i might like girls, my brain told me that i just wanted to be part of this special club. i’ve learned that’s not true, that’s just internalized homophobia, and i shouldn’t ignore my feelings. 
            
            in terms of gender specifically, that’s a long confusing road that i’m still stumbling blindly down. i know i don’t like she/her pronouns. i hate when people use them for me, but i can’t remove them from my “official label”. they feel like a safety net, like, as long as they’re there along with the other pronouns, it won’t seem too weird and people won’t think things or whatever. and i know that’s dumb that i can’t get rid of them, but i’m not ready for that yet. 
            
            here’s what i have to say for you: do whatever the f*ck you want. clothes are a recommendation of mine. if you’re feeling more masculine, dress that way, same for if you’re feeling more feminine. it really helps :) i’d also recommend (if you have someone you’d be comfortable with doing so/talking to about this) having someone refer to you with different pronouns. i know it can be scary, i’ve never been able to do it directly, but it helps tremendously. and i can promise you, you’re not faking anything. you are who you are, and as much as it might suck sometimes, you can’t do anything to change that, so you might as well be comfortable with yourself. 
            
            okay that’s all. sorry if this was all unwarranted and unhelpful or unnecessary.
            - danny

@DannyDeceit0 I feel this on a different level!
            I'm literally so freaking confused.
            My name is not Charlie but I feel much more comfortable with Charlie.
            I always identified as female and was comfortable with that but that kind of changes rn.
            Like I wish a was born as a boy, like I'm not trans but I want to be a boy, but not always, cuz sometimes I feel really hot as a girl.
            And also am I faking being bi just because I don't want to be straight?
            But at the same time ✨women✨ and eww men but also ✨men✨ but like ✨fictional men✨
            
            Well that's it for today
            Thank you for your time
            Charlie 

bro this was a year ago that’s crazy. anyway, choir comp came around again and you’ll never guess… WE ALL WON AGAIN!! (i really am using wattpad like a journal/calendar lol) we’re going to states again and i’m stressed bc we have to learn two new songs in around a month, so with like 10ish rehearsals but it’ll be fine. we built different :)

Soooo… we went to states… and WE ALL F*CKING WON AGAIN!!! Hell yeah! The other choirs are nothing compared to my school >:)
            Also,
            Our old choir teacher was there with his school (he left our school because he did the diddly-do with students - ALLEGEDLY… but we all know the truth) and he didn’t win, no sir. We won, us. 
            Very happy atm, just at the memory (this was April, I just completely forgot to say anything here)
            Okay that’s all byeee
            :)))

But at the same time, if people I know discover this account, I’d want them to say something to me so I know and can change how I present myself on here ‘cause... yikes. 

and now it says 3 yrs hello??? that’s not for another four months 

@wattpad how do I go about fixing this?

Yeah, ‘cause I posted on April 25, 2021 saying “one year now.” Sooo... wtf???

Omg thank you! You literally don’t know how much that means to me /g 

Okay, so fr, I am over it and actually have been over it for a while now. I’m not sure if I ever even had a crush on him in the first place or if it was just gender envy. 
            To wrap up some loose ends:
            1. We are very very close friends now. We talk everyday and are platonically in love. 
            2. He doesn’t even know his sexuality. I’ve asked him if he’s gay and his response was, “eeehhh,” as in, “ihnfc I just do what I do,” and I respect that. 
            3. He is dating one of our mutual friends (who also gives me gender envy) and they are so fricking cute together. Idk why it took them so long to get together, but I love them and if they break up, I will cry. 

*dramatic sigh* 
            I have decided I’m over it. Yes, you heard me right. This is exactly how I treat all of my feelings of any kind — I control them. And I’m controlling this one by deciding I’m over it. That’s it. End of story. Good day to you. Rest in piece. The end. Adios. Goodbye. 

So he called me ugly lol. He wasn’t serious tho ‘cause we call each other ugly and insult each other all the time. This time it was just different and it low key kinda hurt but it’s whatever. I’ll get over it eventually.