Yes, hello, FBI. Wow, you've gotten desperate if you're searching my social media bios for information. well, it just so happens that I've intercepted your feed and have quickly changed the description to let you know whatever you want! MUAHA-wait, what?

Yes, i'm a member of Hydra and proud of it. you should join too, it's great! (What? No! Stop reading!)

You actually can't arrest me because my secret base entrance is hidden behind layers of security and located in my parent's basement. (What am I typing? How on earth??)

I have a Mylkshake obsession and cannot survive long without it, which is why I have daily shipments deliver it to my doorstep in large boxes that are very heavy and easy for a person to hide in, which are then brought directly to me. (Why am I even saying this? Stop! Fingers!)

I haven't won a single arm wrestle in my entire life, so once you find me i'm easily apprehended. (okay, that's not even true, there was that one time with the dog..) 

And finally, after scanning through my entire bio, not losing patience even once, I will not give you a medal or even a word of congratulations, I will simply end the description without even saying any closing remarks, or extremely clever humorous jokes or parting puns. 

That would be such a Pun-ishment for reading all of it, huh?