this message may be offensive
What do you do when, the first Person you loved, (and I mean like the first person you kissed, you said 'I love you' to), Hurt you so bad that it feels like you'll never be the same??
Am I just another heart broken petty bitch? Guess that's normal... But, like, this person was my everything. I actually po it off a lot of thing because of him, and it hurts. A lot. Knowing the shit I've been through my life, I don't know if I need this right now.
It's not like, "oh your just faking because you want him back", I actually mean what I say. All of the time, and energy I wasted on that dumb, stupid, ignorant bastard, I could have done so much with my life, and I could have probably skipped a grade instead of worrying about these broke, playing niggas where I live.
I want to move on, I want to be Happy, I want to do so much, but I just can't. When I was with him, it felt like I could take on the world. Like every single negative comment never affected me. And once I found out, I just haven't been the same. I feel so...desperate?? I guess desperate is the right word.
And the thing is, I've never believed in love. I always thought it was a cheap tactic to make people feel happy, and I've always heard people say "Love is drug" or, "Love is amazing", and etc. And once I finally had love, I completely understand every phrase that was said. I was addicted to feeling like I was worth something. I was addicted to being happy. The way he made me feel, I can't explain. It was like, butterflies kept flying in my stomach, and his smile made my heart race, but now I just feel numb.
I'm desperate to feel how he made me feel again. I desperate to finally have someone to say "I love you" to, and have them day it back and mean it. No hollow words. Thats all I want. No hollow words.