suspend me harder

no place to go tonight.

i married an angel

i feel awful

i am genuinely happy! im not faking it. sometimes i have moments like this. im gonna be better! i just need to take a deep breath! im gonna be ok even if im not right now

im scared that one day im gonna snap and have a mental breakdown. im not as happy as id like everyone to believe.  im still genuinely happy, though! im just scared of losing it because my mental health is hanging by a thread. I'm scared of the INTERNET OVERDOSE ending. im scared of relasing. but ill be ok! im happy and recovering!

and maybe your just misguided 
          and maybe this isnt real
          holy shit, im thatweirdomarissa.
          its hard to comprehend
          i made all of this come to life
          every drawing, every line.
          i MADE them love me.
          Every action had a consequence
          Positive and negative. 
          I don't want fame anymore
          because love and adoration hurts
          everyone will talk without your input
          your a toy to them.
          and i dont need their validation
          because i realized the only happiness i need is contained in myself.
          It feels like a big dream
          ill wake up in my bed
          toys scattered all over the floor
          and see u again next time.
          
          thanks for the memories!

Maybe you don't hate me. Maybe you just hate the version of me you've invented in your head.

jk thatweirdomarissa is a great person. they are awesome and full of love and caring. they are kind and dont need anyone but themselves. they are so sweet

EW I HATE THATWEIRDOMARISSA IM BETTER THAN HIM

oh, also august 24 was the 4-year anniversary to "you don't NEED four" a shitty edgy fanfic where maria is a Mary Sue and kills four, x, and a bunch of contestants and commits suicide after she realizes what she did. She killed them bc they hated each other