DeezNuts_August_69

Name of my second account : R6m3Me09EN

DeezNuts_August_69

What do yall think about me writing a book about a Prince who fell in love with his bodyguard but make it very gay, spicy and also in Polish? I will make English version for my not Polish followers ^^ I'm gonna make an account and I'll add the name of it in the next post
          -----

DeezNuts_August_69

Venting pt2 cause wattpad ditnwant to publish my long ass paragraph
          
          Today my mom and her boyfriend got into an argument cause my mom smokes and the boyfriend clearly doesn't like it. They had arguments cause of that in the past, like month ago. I take really bad the arguments and screaming in general, it always makes me wanna cry. My mom cried and refused to sleep with him (in sense of sleeping not sex) and I think she sleep in the armchair now. I don't know cause she locked their bedroom (which is also a living room) door and I'm afraid to check. I want to hug her so badly but I can't cause i might get screamed at.
          
            Recently I felt a need to smoke or drink some alcohol, or have sex, in general the adult stuff. I want to have something which makes me forget about this world and everything. I tried to ask my classmates for cigarettes but they ofc font have those. I would drinka lcohol but im afraid I my mom would find out. I'm also too young to have sex, I'm almost 14 ( I have my 14th birday in the 3rd January) and I don't have anybody.
          
          I'm so alone. I'm not saying this for attention, I'm for real. People forget about me and no one checks up on my everyday like they used to. I know I'm an annoying person to talk, cause of my mood swings, character, humor and the fact that I'm really slow and I figure things out really badly and you need to explain everything to me. I feel like I'm annoying for people so I'm never texting first. Also I don't like texting first in general.
          
          
          
          
          Sorry that this paragraph is really long, tall don't need to read this if you don't want to.

DeezNuts_August_69

this message may be offensive 
Venting cause why not p1 cause its too long for wattpad to publish it. 
          
          
          Apparently so much happened in my life while I was gone in wattpad. I plan on coming back but I don't think I'm gonna be in any fandom.
          
            From the start, I told my mom about my sh and eating problems. She ofc supported me and long story short she offered me go to psychologist or go to dance classes cause she can't afford both and she told me that if I wanna be skinnier, the dance classes are the best. Of course stupid me choose the dance classes cause i feel like I don't have enough problems to go to psychologist.
          
            Recently, like yesterday or tw das ago, I asked my mom for a razor to shave myself cause I lost my old one. She told me she won't give it to me cause "What's if it may accidently slip on your stomach?" and she smiled like it was some sort of joke. This was the moment when o felt she don't take me seriously, cause I felt lime she just made a joke out of my sh problems.
          
          By the way my mom thinks there aren't other ways to get the razors and she doesn't even looks for them and I have in my school pencil case and the other one (the more sharp one) in my "period wallet" or however you wanna call it. 
          
            I went to the bathroom feeling tears in my eyes and she told me that she can shave me if I really want to shave or I shave and give the razor straight up to her. The first one just stayed in my mind and I felt like she treats me like a fucking child. I know she wants good for me but she didn't need to tell all that stuff next to her boyfriend. I didn't want him to know my problems.

DeezNuts_August_69

Lmao I just feel bad for no reason at all. I'm really anxious out of nowhere

DeezNuts_August_69

@ NikodemKomaeda  thank you. Sorry for not responding, I u installed wattpad for no reasom
• Reply

Tweek_Tweank

@NikodemKomaeda IM LATE BUT ITS GONNA BE OKAY. TAKE DEEO BREATHS. 
            
            Uhhh if it helps, I learned a breathing technique :D
            
            You hold your palm out with your fingers spread out and you trace your hand with your other hand. Every time you trace upward, you breathe in and every time you trace downward, then you breathe out (if that makes any sense).
            
            Then there’s the classic 1,2,3,4 4,3,2,1 where you count up to four with your fingers as you breathe in, count back down to one as you breathe out. 
            
            Sorry I can’t really help too much but if this helps now or any time in the future, I hope!
• Reply