ineedmyboyrn
For ur first fan fiction ur doing amazingly. You just need to fix some grammar mistakes and maybe reread the chapters before you post, the characters/players have personalities and I don't think ur showing enough emotion through them. To keep readers engaged I think adding some personality and humanity, Make them have canon reactions! that's it^^~
(side note: it was so enjoyable and very good read, thank you so much for this‼️)