A lot of people ask me
"Why don't you try therapy?"
Or
"Therapy is something that will help you greatly, what are you afraid of?"
Truth be told, if I was to tell you my greatest fear, it would be to feel vulnerable around someone.
Growing up, you might know my family wasn't exactly the kind one would want to live in, with both the parents cheating on one another, and then dropping all their anger on the youngest in the family, aka, me, through verbal or (mostly) physical means.
As a result, I had to build MANY walls around myself for my mental and emotional well being.
And the thing is, I did go to therapy earlier in '22, but the guy, I didn't even know him, mind you, was able to go through all those walls and read me like an open book!
I cannot put in words just how much it terrified me that a complete stranger was able to have me sobbing and crying in front of him with just a couple sessions, and that was something my friends won't have been able to do, no matter what they tried!
The people I spent almost my whole day around wouldn't have known that I was so pathetic and depressed if I hadn't opened up to them!
And yet, this "DUDE" made me do that in, what?
2-3 sessions?
I'm not saying that therapy is bad, or that someone shouldn't go through therapy if they are depressed.
Hell, I'm ready to help someone myself if needed.
The problem is not with others, but with me.
I'm not strong enough to go through those sessions.
I'm sorry, but I'm not. And I doubt I'll ever be either.
And if you're reading this, have gone through therapy, and improved, I'm so damn proud of you.
Hell, I'm proud of you guys no matter what. I know how much these words can mean. So I want you all to DEEPLY understand this, okay?
Love y'all.
