‏❃ Dee❃

I'm alive.

I have changed my username 

Hi, it's been a while, but here I am making a decision I think I should've made long ago. I don't know if anyone actually cares, but I feel the need to announce that I've unpublished all of my works except my latest journal, for I don’t regret it, yet. I've been thinking deeply about doing so for a long, long time, for I no longer feel like this platform is for me. I've been 7 years on here, which's most of my teenage years, and honestly, I wasn't, and I still am, going nowhere. I admit that I had a wonderful experience on here, the passion for writing and all the encouraging comments I've received are irreplaceable, this is why I was sobbing like a baby when I hit the "unpublish" option. Letting go of the stories I worked hard on for years hurt immensely. I still remember when I wrote 6 chapters in two days... However, this is what I WANT to do, and it’s extremely rare for me to have this feeling, wanting to do something so badly, and actually being fixed and sure about it. Having no doubt is so rare. 
          
          As for Beyond Red, which was previously known as Unique Blood, I'm rewriting it and hopefully republish it in a more suitable plot. The world has changed, and I am no longer the same person from 7 years ago. I can't deny that I didn't have an ending for it, and didn't know where to continue after the last chapter that I published, and it shows in the dragged chapters. This is why I've decided to rewrite it for all those who still read it and are enjoying it. 
          
          I might also change my username in the upcoming days, and if I did, I’ll have an announcement for that as well.
          
          Thank you for sticking around.

I know I haven't updated anything for a while, but is it bad that I don't feel like it? I'm not as active as I used to be on social media, that is if I ever even was. Don't you sometimes feel.. Stuck? Maybe that's how I've been feeling, or perhaps tired or even exhausted. I may as well say that I straight up don't care. Do you ever feel like there's nothing physically wrong is going on, everything seems to be going with the flow as the days go by, but secretly, you are just NOT okay. Though things are flowing with the soft wind, you're deeply in a storm.Even when it is actually storming in life, it seems like I'm always in a constant state of instability.I've done my part in trying to aid myself,but I still need that hand to hold to stand, and because of that thought I keep wondering if I'm ever really enough.Though I want it, I still don't like this state of isolation I'm pushing myself into. Sometimes we just want to shut down,however,I still miss that glimpse of inspiration that I used to have,that little excitement that makes me listen to the beats of my heart,that sound that makes me appreciate being alive at that moment to feel that type of uplifting emotion.Some things you just have to live with because they've been happening for a long time that they become part of you,and though I don't mind a little sadness,I don't like when I see it destroying my life, bit by bit because now I know that I dove deeper than I should’ve,and have lost control.I have grown in fear of judgment,it had prevented me from doing various things in my personal life,including posting anything at all,and it had even made me stop writing.People would add my works to their lists and I'm here asking the universe WHY instead of just being grateful.I want to go back to doing the thing that has helped me through my dark times,and the thing I enjoyed most.I know I’ll ask myself“now what”after posting this, but maybe going with the flow in hopes of seeing what life is holding for me is a start.

Mind checking my New update for my Young poet. Enjoy reading ! 
          
          
          

your bio is a 
          
          m o o d

“Perhaps the biggest difficulty of all is staying sober, without falling again.”
          https://my.w.tt/wsKEPXyLMY

‪“I burned all of those memories, lived for a moment, but I guess I forgot that there remained ashes.” - ☁️
          https://my.w.tt/4EoSA8tzJY

A new cover, and chapter. 
          https://my.w.tt/ElHoAcxsXX

Hi 
          
          How are you guys?