[Unnamed-Entity26]

I’ve been taking a long break
          I have a few reasons but my main ones are
          I’m DM-ing my first D&D campaign and it’s a lot
          I’m focusing on a one-day-publishable-book rn
          And I’m working through a lot of stuff emotionally
          But I will eventually return to posting

Happy holidays!
          I got 8 new books
          lol 

I’ve been DM for my family dnd campaign for two months now. We’ve only really done it three or four times bc I kept being anxious that they don’t actually enjoy it and are just doing it for me so I don’t point out that I want to have another session and then they end up not bringing it up and my anxiety just worsens 
          But I finally worked up the confidence to ask for another session last night and we agreed to have a session tonight 
          And then we had an argument and now I’m going to fricking cry because we prob won’t dnd tonight anymore and we haven’t had a session in like three weeks now and I just want to cry and I feel like I’m being too serious about it

Am I the only person where if we’re having a serious conversation, and you try to lighten the conversation by adding a sarcastic comment I genuinely don’t like that and take it seriously 
          Bc I had a serious convo with my parents and at the end I had gone silent and my mom was like
          “So do you agree with me and you’ll do this?”
          And I was like “Mhm”
          And then she added “Or are you just sitting their quietly thinking that if you stay quiet for long enough we’ll stop talking about this and you won’t take this advice”
          And then my parents were like “She’s just trying to lighten the mood with a sarcastic comment”
          And I’m over here on the verge of tears
          It’s giving “It’s just a joke, don’t take things so seriously.”
          In other words, just had another argument with my parents
          And we were supposed to finally have another Dnd session tonight… 

I was able to see my gf today
          I was too scared to ask if she still loved me, I think she does but my anxiety and self-doubt it just going off in my head
          But I do think she still loves me
          Idk
          I’m so tired tho, just in general 
          I’m so tired and I don’t want to go to school tomorrow but I have to
          I kind of just wanna stay home and bed rot but I’m also scared to miss school
          It’s so annoying to both have depression and anxiety 
          Like I’m too tired to go to school but I’m horrified of missing school

Honestly, I feel so worthless rn
          My mom doesn’t seem to care about my feelings 
          And I’m not sure if my gf still loves me
          I was planning to ask her tomorrow in person but now I won’t be able to bc my moms grounded me because I had a panic attack and she didn’t believe me
          My gf didn’t text me for a week and left me on read and so I was scared that she didn’t like me anymore but was just too scared to admit it but then we made plans to meet up tomorrow but I’ll prob have to cancel and I just feel so useless 
          Like, nobody even cares about me it feels like and I just don’t know what to do anymore 

I just had a panic attack over something my mom tried to make me go do and she literally said
          “You’re not having a panic attack. You just don’t want to go. I know you.”
          Like wtf? And now I’m crying and hiding in my room because she went to go do the thing and now she’s grounded me and I can’t see my gf tomorrow even tho I haven’t seen her in 3 weeks now?
          And no visitors until the next time I see my therapist, which we haven’t even set the date bc the next scheduled time was on Christmas Eve and my therapist doesn’t work that day and I am literally going to fricking kms I can’t do this rn

New obsession unlocked
          Osora <3

I don’t wanna be annoying and announce too much or anything 
          But is this a good description for a Wendigo?
          It’s for a story;
          
          “A Wendigo’s skin was an ash gray, with black fur peeling off, it’s body thin, ribs pressing against the skin, mist around its body. It had hooves on it’s hind legs and long black talons on it’s front hands. The head of the Wendigo was that of a Stag’s skull, with large antlers, a green smoke emitted from its empty eye sockets.
          The Wendigo was tall, leaning over, it’s spine stretching against the tight skin. Even leaning over, its antlers brushed the leaves of the tree’s above.”
          

Halloween!!
          I’m being Chuuya and my gf is Dazai <3
          What’s everyone else being?
          If u celebrate it ofc