♡

Mom!! Please give me the link to the Lonely Hearts Club server, my old account got suspended until dec 15 2027, dw I've made a new account

My life is not catching up with the Christmas vibes and it's annoying me. 
          
          I should be worried about gifts,  cute holiday outfits, and how many pounds of chestnuts I can eat without judgment. I should not be worried about boring, heart attack inducing adult crap. What is this shit

Weird shit my family said out of context:
          
          “Maybe they’re not looking at us because they liked our butts. Maybe they’re traffickers evaluating how much our kidneys are worth.” 
          
          “One scoop of rum ice cream, one scoop of cognac ice cream and one scoop of wine ice cream.” 
          “Jesus, do you need an AA?” 
          
          “I don’t think that watching Wicked with her will make me a lesbian.” 
          
          “I’m not gonna take a pregnancy test in a restaurant bathroom.” 
          
          “Are you sure you’re not autistic?”
          
          “Have cats, they said. It’s much easier than kids. Well, here I am cleaning poop off the rug.” 
          
          “What time are we supposed to show up for dinner?” 
          “Eight p.m. But for her, we’re gonna say 4 p.m cause she’s always late.” 
          
          “What is everyone doing here?” 
          “I almost passed out, did you not see? 
          “No, I was buying macarons.” 
          
          “Oh my god, it’s Santa!”
          “You’re 35.” 
          
          “How many chocolate bars did you buy for them?”
          “5”
          “And how many did you eat?” 
          “...5” 
          
          “This is the last time we’re coming here, right? 6 times is enough.” 
          “No, we’re definitely coming back next year.” 
          *collective groans*
          
          “Don’t cut off his pinky! Don’t cut off his pinky! Damn it, he cut off his pinky.”
          
          “Why do you look darker every time you come out of the shower?”

Since everybody is bullying me about it...Christmas Veronica is back! 

Where’s Christmas hat Veronica?? Hm?? It’s been six days

Hey, so, when is the Christmas pfp coming back..? /j

My cousins and I talking at the beginning of our drive home: Silly stuff. Family gossip. Plans for our next party. How terrible we are at driving.
          
          My cousins and I talking at the end of our drive home: "So yeah, I do hold a grudge against my dad for not dying instead of my mom and I'm mad he gets to move on even though I feel like he needs to be sad for a long time before he deserves to be happy again" 
          
          Our Uber driver: O.o

Erika Kirk's speech is giving Serena Waterford 

Ugh, I hate my aunt so much sometimes. She's the only person who gets me pissed off enough to say shit like "at least she's licking pussy in Paris. Better than you who were sucking dicks in the back of a bus." 
          
          I could never imagine saying things like that to any of my other aunts but this one...yeah, she deserves it.

I don't get why people from outside of Rio act so shocked when I tell them I've never stayed at Copacabana Palace. 
          
          Why the heck am I gonna pay 20k to stay in a hotel in a city I already live in?? Isn't that what houses are for??