Dear Person,
          Hello. I dun know how you got here, but oh well. If you dun want to be here than that is fine. You can leave. (If you went here by mistake, you would probably not even read this lol.) For those who came... go away.
 :) 
                                                                                                    Sincerely,                                                                                        A Unicorn

Hello. Woah. You're still reading this? That's weird. You should have left by now. Oh well. On to the weird part..

-------------
Greetings, my child! I am Literal Toriel! Caretaker of... the Ruins, I guess. Anyway, feel free to ask for help on puzzles, @Call_Me_Sly ! Have some Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie! We can go catch bugs or something! Just please don't go downstairs! Thank you for being patient, by the way!

- Literal Toriel

(Credit to @mentioned for the kawaii icon http://celiaxiao.deviantart.com/art/Crusty-Da-Miku-542566788.)