Alex

Offically an adult as of three minutes ago. Who thought it was a good idea for me to be an adult ever?

Guess who gets to see my chemical romance?! Me! Super excited and its motivating me to write a little again

Me: hates tea
          
          Also me: will drink tea for my belives and home remides (though still visits doctor as well)

I'm breathing. . . . but that doesn't make me alive. Everyone has been accepting my fake smiles, fines, and goods as truth, but honesty I'm crumbling. I'm going insane without therapy, medication, and people who matter noticing. Everything inside me in crumbling. I'm tired almost always and have so little will to write real stories. My parents don't notice that I'm litterly being torn apart at the seams. They are blind to anything good about me or help i need. I'm scared to move away because ill be struggling with things more but at the same time i need to in order to be better (does that make sense at all?). I'm normally fine off seven hours of sleep on school days. . . no matter how much i sleep now I'm always tired. No one here will believe me I imagine but hey. . .  thats no diffrent from school. . . the people who say I'm faking and yet fake themselves. I promise I'm not, I wish I was though. I honest to god wish I was just an asshole faking who could stop and say sorry and try to make amends, but I truly am struggling to live some days. What tops it off is i know i dont have it bad even, i hate that most off. . . . that here I am braking and I shouldn't even whine about it. I'm weak and I know that, to those who know me off screen I'm sorry i lie so damn much about how I'm doing to you. I'm sorry I cant be Atchually a happy person. I think I only fight for two reasons, my pet who helps me and my best friend. Anyone else in my life I honestly think would be fine without me their. I'm sorry I'm clingy to those i am, I'm scared to let go of you few though. No this isnt my goodbye, I won't die anytime soon because I made a promise to be their for someone and I won't brake that to them. This simply is me saying sorry to those i know and those who fallow me. 

Three tests, four assignments, and now i fucken forgot my ticket for my volunteer. I'm going to cry and I'm pretty sure my parents will make me pay the ticket myself because i left it in my locker on accident. . .  its official. . .  ive lost my mind. 

I'm back, Im semi-okay.

Have you ever worried about someone so much you have panic attacks from it?

Why are all my favorite people the most broken? Because they tend to be the most kind and loving people i meet even if they dont belive it. 

Now I am a renegade on tic tok

So I dont think i can ever leaving writing behind
           I used to hate it believe it or not, but now I write my own privet stories (no on read them when I used to post them) and I adore role play threw messaging. I'm at a year and a half i believe of role playing with someone, and I've roleplayed with many people in the past.