Is it ever ok? When is it going to end? Should I just "go to sleep"? It's too much. Of course he treats me differently, I'm not his real kid. I should have expected it. I'm just an idiot for thinking life could get better. Maybe I should leave. Maybe I should just leave and never return. Would they notice? Maybe in a week. I need help. I know I do. No one tries to get me to be comfortable. Even with my own parents i put up a mask. They don't seem to see. I pretend I am happy but inside i really am just a powerless idiot who resorts to posting these long paragraphs so that I don't have to talk aloud. If I disappear who would notice? "If only, if only" the woodpecker sighs "the bark on the tree was as soft as the skys" While the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely, Crying to the moo-oo-oon, "If only, if only.”. Heh