this message may be offensive
i just found out one of my friends and color guard team mates killed themselves yesterday just a few weeks before the 1 year anniversary of one of my other friends deaths. the school is pretending it didn't even happen and when victur died, the first of my friends to die, they made a big deal out of it because he was popular and since the guy that died yesterday wasn't popular they don't give a shit. i....fuck i want to hurt the ones who pushed him to that. i am really unstable right now and i REALLY want to hurt the ones who caused this and it's slowly fading to numbness and i won't feel anything in a while and i don't know how to process this and i just want to cry, but i also want to punch a wall or cut but i won't because i promised myself i wouldn't do that anymore and i just don't know what to do.