Dsanch003

todays my bday!!!!

perryfire

I can tell you've got a nice story idea but you should work on your delivery. It's not a drama where you highlight a person name and write what they say. Rather, you either use you as a writers point of view that is explaining things through your eyes or you use a particular characters point over view. As shown it was the guys POV so you didn't need to highlight the others. I don't know if you get what I mean but any question is welcomed.

Dsanch003

@perryfire   thaknks for you feed back
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