Hey, i'm a guy with bpd as well, I happened to come across your sort of like a diary, and wanted to tell that you're a beautiful and wonderful person, and that you're not alone in your pain and suffering, you are valuable and i love you dearly for this way you are, without knowing you. So put on a smile and keep fighting, it gets better with time, and worse, and then a lot better, and sometimes incredibly worse, but in the long run it's worth the effort ;) Had my bpd diagnosis done 6+ years ago and i'm still alive and kickin it old school =)