E.S. Helm

(6) His eyes and butthole widen when he is met with a beautiful girl infront of him. "Woah.." he farts silently, his cheeks also in utter disbelief in the sight before him. "I'm so sorry." He says, holding a hand to help her up. "Oh ..." the girl blushes and takes his hand with slight hesitation. Her eyes were brown, the most beautiful brown of any shart known to mankind. Her hair was curly and a stunning diarrhea auburn color, her face dotted with shart speckled specks which were her freckles. "Wow.." Says Varishart in awe, "I've um- never seen you around here before!!" He stutters. "Oh- Im..I-I just moved here." Says the girl, feeling shy. "Well, welcome to Corona!" He announces, pooting quietly as to not come across as too outgoing. She nods, trying to pull away, but he doesn't let go of her hand. "My name is Varishart." He says loudly, grasping her hand tighter and farting louder. "My friends call me marizza...but you can call me Volana." Says the girl, rizzing Varishart as it's her natural nature. Suddenly, Varishart has a wild look in his eyes, a look as if he was the alpha wolf. "Fart on me mommy." He groans. Volana backs away "what-" Varishart grabs her and drags her by the hair into his lab. When he was finished, Volana was gone and the walls were layered in a 3 inch thick coat of chocolate pudding. Queefin applauds him on his great finish, and so does all of Corona. He gets the Nobel Peace Prize and he lives shartily ever after. The end.

(5) He begins to wonder what he might do with his free day off. "Maybe I should visit Rapisszle to study the science of her magical golden glowing piss!! Or- no,no, I don't need to work today! I don't have to study anything at all! what if I spent my day hanging out with Eugween!" As he is talking happily to himself, he accidentally collides with a person walking the same direction. A pile of shart cascaded down his legs in shock and he landed with a squelch, the white snow now brown. "Oh my goodnes- *shart* I am *shart shart* so so sorry that I *shart* knocked you *juicy shart* over!!!" He throws himself to his feet to help the fallen stranger up. 

(4) "Oh dad," says Varishart clasping his hands to his chest, "You do not even understand how proud of you I am right now." Varishart begins to release uncontrollably in pure delight, clumps of brown beauty decorating the floor. "I learned everything I know from the best." Queefin says, ruffling his son's hair playfully. Varishart giggles, poot poot!! Queefin smiles and speaks up, "Son, you should take the day off, let me handle this. You deserve a break." Varishart blinks twice "A-are you sure?" He stutters. Queefin nods, "Its a snow day, after all!!" Varishart smiles, a waterfall of juice happily escaping him. "Thanks Dad!! Your the best!!" He hugs his father before running off, leaving a trail behind him. 

(3) If only Ruddiger, his beloved raccoon, was here to witness the beloved sweet aroma of his ooey gooey situation. Unfortunately, the coon passed away last week due to the gas chamber which was Varishart's bedroom. Finally, Varishart gets to the entrance of the tunnel and let's out one last roaring toot. It echoed through the halls, alerting his father, Queefin, that he was present. "Son!!" Called Queefin, squelching with each step as he made his way to his boy. "I was able to get the water system up and running while you were asleep." Brags Queefin proudly, letting out a big queef in victory. 

(2) It was about a 10 minute walk from where he was. Although it was freezing out, he couldn't help but find comfort in the warmth of his shart. It sat in his pants, the more he stepped, the more gooey heat entered in his polkadotted undergarments. He smiles, feeling it warming his legs as it dripped down. "Heh. That's a wet one." He talks to himself with a buck toothed grin. 

(1) It was a snowy winter evening in Corona. It was a strange thing for this kingdom to have such a storm, as it is known for being the warmest of the seven kingdoms. Nonetheless, Varishart doesn't complain and puts on his brand new caca colored shoes to head outside in the snow. He begins to trod out the door, every step he sharts a little, wreaking from stench. He was on his way to Hers De Sonne's Tunnels, where his lab was located. 

Hey piss gurl

Hi 

I finally have started my new novel, "Murmurs from the Abyss"! It's about time travel, pirates, and mysterious treasure. The first chapter is out now! Updates may start out slowly but should pick up the farther I get. Join El on her time-traveling adventure as her whole world gets flipped upside down by a crew of ruthless 17th century pirates. 
          Thank you for reading!                           
                                                    -E. Helm

I know this isn't an update, sorry, but is anyone awake right now? It's the middle of the night where I am because I couldn't fall asleep for some reason the one night I get to somewhat sleep in the next morning and now I'm lonely and just want some type of human interaction before I go crazy or smthn