엘성

Oh mannn a lot has happened recently but I think it's driven me back to writing so I guess that's a small good thing that's come from the bad.. Sorry for not updating any of my stories in a while xx I'm getting back to it now 

Hi hello!! I'm so sorry I haven't been active but as we know my mental health deteriorated a lot over time (TW// SU*CIDE MENTION, SELF HARM) and so it has lead me to believe a lot of things that aren't true. I have depression, anxiety, paranoia, BDD and I'm becoming increasingly scared of food and drink. I have also been found to have endometriosis which really brings down my mood and wellbeing even more. 
          
          I have thought a lot of bad things and sadly harmed myself more over these past months, my arms and thighs falling victim. I keep putting off phoning the doctor's and asking for help.. I can't bring myself to for some reason.
          
          However, I want to start writing the next chapters of all of my published books again, continuing to write might just help me spark something again- and the positive feedback from you as you read really does lift my spirit.
          
          I'm sorry for being away for so long, I'm going to try and get back on top of my life.
          
          Good news, college has started and my time studying my courses so far has been fun and new and exciting, I'm actually happy to study my subject and I look forward to the future slightly more.
          
          If you read all of this, thank you, really, I know there was a lot but I simply had a lot to say. Thank you my marshmallows, I love you all, thanks for waiting for me 

So, first things first, I hope you're all safe and healthy with all this Covid-19 stuff that's going on. It's a tough time for many countries and the world as a whole but I'm sure we'll get through it ☀️
          
          However, I'm now officially being forced into a 3 month (12 week) isolation period where I'm not even allowed out of the house and neither are any members of my family. Schools have now officially been shut down here in England as well as the rest of the UK; so I'm not the only one that's not going to be attending school at this crucial exam-filled time. But I am the only one that isn't allowed house and is on a proper lock-down style isolation- orders of the hospital. 
          
          I'm not gonna lie and say I feel great, I already have a terrible cold along with a horrible headache, as well as being incredibly stressed and generally down and I feel like I'm slipping into depression with everything that's gone on, this added to my own personal and family problems isn't helping one bit.
          
          I originally didn't want to say anything because I don't want to spread my negativity and sad feelings, but I thought I should say that the books on here honestly help me to deal with a lot of things- they're a way for me to submerse myself in another world and for a little while, I don't have to worry about the real world- I feel free.
          
          So I just wanted to thank the authors that still update during these tough times and I'm sure that I'll try and update too, I want to help you like you're helping me.
          
          I'm realising this is a VERY long message and I do apologize but I'm thankful if you read to this point 
          
          I love you all ✊

Sometimes being an Empath sucks.
          
          
          Don't get me wrong, in happy I'm an Empath rather than the opposite- a psychopath. And sure, it's nice to be so aware of emotions that you develop quick emotional bonds with people. Crying when even a random stranger is crying (even when I don't know why they're crying) is something I can't really say is positive or not.
          
          
          But feeling the exact feelings other people feel has downsides- I've just experienced one of them. So when a person is being sick, my body will want to put myself in their shoes so that I can know exactly how they're feeling (NOT OUT OF CHOICE) and so I feel nauseous and like my stomach wants me to be sick- when it has no reason to. It feels so empty because I haven't eaten and it's 2-3am so I'm not planning on it. It's so uncomfortable and annoying. 
          
          
          
          Lesson learnt- don't ask for superpowers as a child- you'll end up being stuck with being able to feel what other people feel and it's sucks half the time.

Listening to a bit of Ateez first thing in the morning- didn't even look at the time yet or anything. Then Pirate King came on and I said to myself, 'I wish I had my Pirate King' and then realised that the time was 11:11am... If that wish comes true imma freak out-- 

If you follow my Instagram, it's a private account at the moment because I don't feel the best about some of the things that's happened recently. You can still request and I will accept the requests maybe once a week. I'll still post notes on here because I don't want to completely cut myself off from you guys. Please bear with me for some time- I will still be updating my stories. 
          
          I just want to be happier ️

Make sure to check out my collab on insta  I already have 18 people and it's so nice to see 

Okay so my holidays have been crazily hectic so I apologise for that- but I haven't updated any of my stories for a while because of a LOT of family issues... Not many people can say one of their parents had a heart attack and then the other had a stroke exactly a week apart -_- so I'm doing a LOT at the moment, caring and cooking as the new temporary head of the household. I have a minute to spare now, so I'm going to try and get some stuff written. Thanks

Alright so, I'm sorry I haven't updated either of my stories in a while it's just because of exam prep and revision, I am going to update Rescued in a few minutes. I want to finish the next chapter of Choice very soon! Thanks

Okay right so, for my story Rescued I'm gonna make a choice. Its either gonna be a case of removing BigBang from the story to avoid any problems in later chapters or to kill off Seungri... I really dont know so you guys can decide. The group BigBang could be replaced by could be A.C.E or any other suggestions you guys give me- a five-member group though. Please let me know, thanks!