Ellabuggy

HAII so this my my new Acc! (I’m ellabuggy but on my new acc) I got a phone and I made this bc I lost this acc  whoever was following me can follow this new acc! I’m writing a new story so I hope you will follow it! I will try to continue finding purpose

I've been feeling terrible lately. Not like sick but like my thoughts, yk? I'm really struggling. I feel like I'm worthless, a horrible person, and that I'll never be good enough for anyone. Never. Not for anything or anyone. I'm worthless. And I was scared to out this out here but I need some help. I try to do good in the things that I do but I always fail. Friends and basketball is the only things that make me happy. And it's summer so I sit at home no friends to talk too unless I'm on the phone and basketball practice is in the mornings. I literally hate myself. Everything about myself. I hate life rn. 
          
          
          I'm having s3lf h4rm thoughts..
          
          
          I try I really try to stop thinking like this but I can't. I hate myself, how unattractive I am, how I can't do anything right, how I'm a terrible person. I try to do good but when I do good no one notices or cares. I feel like shelly from dandys world right now honestly. I feel like I don't deserve to be here. To have the family I have, to have the friends I've made. I don't feel like I should deserve to have any of those things. Everyone says "your so talented!" "Your athletic!" "You'll be great someday!" No I won't. I'll never be great. Never. In volleyball i try hard, I dive for balls that are hard to get to, I pass perfectly, I spike to the back corner of the court, yet I play 9 hitter. One on the most useless spots at the age I am right now. All I do is  run off the court. That's all I'm allow to do. Sometimes I can hit but the age of me and my friends they can't set backwards? Why am I useless? Am I that terrible..?? Does the coach hate me? Do i not deserve to be on the team? They didn't cut anyone from the team. I bet I was the one they would cut. I'm battling not to cut myself. Not from volleyball. I'm trying not to cut deep, so deep I bleed. I'm tired. I hate life. If anyone has advice to get over this please comment. I'm not trying to rack up comments or some crap. I just need help.. Im done with life..

I've got Chap. 14 out!! I'm so so sooo very sorry for the long wait to everybody enjoying this book. I'll try to get 15 faster >.< (school sucks)

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