el..ᵉ𝓿𝓪𝒕o͜͡𝙧

va ra bba ba ba

if i didn't have w "brand" for myself I'd change my username to azreilsimp or something 

i might have an obsession with jihyo... and twice in general 

you ever just stan an idol/celebrity with the same name as you and then read fanfiction about them and then in the story they do something fucking dumb and everyone in the comments is like "*name* don't be a bitch" and you feel like it's a personal attack on you even though you know it's not and you kinds just : |

WHEN WILL MY REFLECTION SHOW WHO I AM INSIIIIIIIDDDDDEEEEEEEE

nobody likes me everyone just ignores me or pretends to care for me im so fucking useless if i wasnt trans id probably kill myself but the only fucking thing holding me back is that i dont want my grave to say my deadname on it because i know my parents wont care enough to change my name and im not having my goddamn deadname on my fucking grave o

unus annus is no more... it feels so unreal. ive been waiting and knowing about this moment ever since the channel was created yet now that's it's gone it doesn't feel like it's genuinely gone now, at least yet anyway. i was sad at first, and i do wish the time couldve been just a little bit longer, but my reaction to it being deleted isnt as upset as i thought i would be. in fact, im not even upset, im still a bit sad that ill never be able to see any of those videos again, but its not nearly as just... not good.
          
          ill miss it, but its time.

space is fascinating. incredibly, incredibly terrifying, yet so mysterious and intriguing. very strange, yet at the same time makes so much sense it's scary.
          
          huh.

so i just finished a very specific book that was assigned at school but it was pretty amazing honestly and im kinda inspired by it
          like it just 
          it was pretty shit at the beginning but after it was really, really good and omg i really like it so much that i read it at home at my own will ive never done that before 
          i have ideas,,,, cant promise ill actually do anything with them but i do have ideas

i feel so selfish because if how desperate for attention i feel right now. i feel like if i try and talk to anyone i'm just going to be a bother, especially with how late it is with school tomorrow. :/