You know what
I will open up about something that has been keeping me for a while.
I do love my friends in this college.
But even tho I tried to be with them, there's an invisible barrier that keeps me out of their circle.
I can't really relate to their interest, so I'm mostly the quiet one in the group. But that doesn't mean I don't talk all the time, I will talk if I know the topic they are talking about.
The more I spend my time with them, the unhappier I am, and I'm uncomfortable with their daily topic of ranting about someone they don't like, and additionally, making fun of them. It felt...wrong.
I am conflicted.
I just feel left out, like they're trying to leave me in their group indirectly, just like what they did to our former friend, whom I felt bad for getting treated by them like this. Yet, they still approach me; however, every single day, the interaction is getting less and less than before.
I just wish they could tell me directly if they don't want me anymore in their group rather than keeping a fake smile on their face. Are they doing it out of pity, or do they just not want me to get hurt?
If so, they're just making it worse, so I'd rather them be honest with me. So should I leave the group or not? I don't know anymore.
I apologize for this unexpected rant. I just wanted to let it out. :'))
