Elusive Neighbor Cat

Thanks wattpad for randomly getting rid of ALL THE BOOKS IN MY LIBRARY. Theres a few I can't even find again that I really wanted to read but had not started yet. Great.

My mother is the strongest woman I know. She has a terrible job that treats her poorly, even though she's probably one of the most honest and hardest workers there. For some reason she keeps that job. The other workers treat her poorly too. Her patience knows no bounds despite what went on that day. Customers are often rude to her. She doesn't complain somehow. She does come home and discuss her day with dad though, to get things off her chest. It amazes me that after all that she comes home, does laundry, and then sometimes makes us all a very delicious meal. 

What did we ever do to deserve the bond between owner and pet?

*reads a book about being successful*
          
          Book: you gotta do this a certain amount of hours, the month and year you were born decide your success rate, where you grew up decides how many opportunities you get, oh and by the way, this person and this person are really smart, you lose, bye.

Person on AGT: "Oh yeah I'm a comedian!"
          
          Person: "MAKE SOME NOOOLOIIIIISSEEE!!!! Good job!" *thumbs up*
          
          Thats not comedy, thats a hype man.

Pets reflect their owners. I witnessed my uncle's dog talk back to him when he told her to get in the back of his truck. 

Q: Why is a manhole circular?
          
          
          A: a circle is the only shape that doesn't fit through itself when turned sideways. Wouldn't want to lose the lid down the pipes would you?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

I have a suggestion for a new wattpad section. I call it: anything that doesn't have the tag of romance on it
          
          And it features books that are - guess what - not romance

Yes hello