There is no excuse for what happened to Jonghyun.
This is a dark time in the K-Pop world whether you were a Shawol or not.
If you need help, you go get it. There is a number to call if you are having those kinds of thoughts. There is a number you can text. There is an online chat to go to. If none of those are good enough, go to a trusted friend, a teacher, a family member, SOMEONE. Do not just sit there and let it eat at you.
I send my deepest condolences to the SHINee members and to Jonghyun's family.
If you need any of the above resources for getting help, PM me and you'll get them.