Emogamer2244

So again doubt you guys read these just a small update i got pretty far with the next chapter of N.P.S.L.T. just ran into a problem of I don't think I wrote the fight scenes very well I'm probably to harsh on myself but the entire thing reads like a mess. It's been bugging me enough that I just don't want to acknowledge it.
          
          Unrelated personal stuff is my birthday is just a few days away......... yay.......... I never really cared for celebrating it don't even know when the last time I had fun during it even was. I uh wrote a few more song rough drafts in the past few weeks, realized acoustic guitars just feel right for me makes sense it was the first and only instrument I had as a kid. Might've actually found some faith in the Greek gods well mostly Apollo and maybe Aphrodite given my tragic love history, but yeah I'll try to stomach looking at the draft to see what I want to change that doesn't feel entirely like shit or what parts are salvageable. If any of it is, sidenote fucking hate how hard it is to find some decent fantasy monsters that aren't ai trash.

Love spending an a hour writing just to find that work gone, anyone else having issues on the fuck ass app?

New year and all that I'm going to be honest I'm gonna revise no pain so little time earlier chapters I was way to edgy and heavy handed so yeah this is just me saying I haven't forgotten about the story, just been thinking about it and how I think I could improve it instead of it being you know stereotypical new writers edgy bullshit. I apologize for those who suffered through it. I'll probably be doing the revising tomorrow or over the following weeks and try to work on the next chapter. I know I'm not the best story teller it's ironic people tell me I'm good with words but to use them to paint an overall picture not so much.

Okay so uh I don't want to admit this, I might be taking a hiatus because my family has been getting several complaints against us and it's really making me nervous that they're trying to force us out the community by eviction and the complaints have been increasing this past year so I'm sorry for not uploading these past few months.... I've just been balancing on a knifes tip because me and my mom swear the HOA person hates us specifically since we moved here nine years ago. I'm really sorry for anyone who was looking forward to a new chapter it's just I'm in the trenches right now mentally, domestically, physically because my factory resets have been happening a lot more frequently. So uh let me clarify nine years ago I started to getting fainting spells for no clear medical reason.
          
          Sometimes they're brief sometimes I look like I'm in the Alaskan bush during winter butt ass naked with how bad I shake, other times my body has completely shut down and I'd come to on the floor and just get right back up I've gotten hurt before because of this I'm mean I literally have the Nike logo on my right palm I've probably got a scar on the back of my head from falling and splitting it open but hey at least that happened when I was in a behavioral ward of the local hospital.
          
          I know it sounds like I'm constantly making excuses for lack of content but I take my health mental and physical very seriously because I may not want to live but I'm not keen to die either. I'm human and I've been going through shit all my life just this past year has been really rough on me.
          
          So I'm sorry for letting everyone down who did enjoy no pain so little time I'm not giving up on it just need time to figure everything out I know no one is really gonna read all of this but I just wanted to be honest with the ten of you guys especially the original author who I adopted the fic idea from I really feel like I let them down majorly I'll see you when I see. Maybe I have a laptop by then my luck I wont

So it's uh been a minute and gonna be honest depression has been kicking my ass the past two months. Doesn't help I fucked up on the paperwork I had to fill out for the appointment last month tried to get that resolved which I haven't been able to. Had some meds changed yesterday so maybe I'll pull all nighters like I used to won't know till next week, wrote my doctor to see if I can get blood work testing done to find out if I'm anemic or have a sub category of anemia. 
          
          But uh yeah thats basically why nothing has been uploaded lack of motivation and more pressing matters.

Little update I haven't forgotten about the story just been focused or as focused as I can be on irl stuff I have an appointment in less than two weeks that I really can't miss and have been trying to find a ride to because I don't have a car and depending on how that goes I'll probably to mentally drained as I usually am from socializing in a formal/clinical level and shortly after that is my birthday which I don't have anything planned yet but that might change probably won't but I might just take brake from the Internet that day and focus on my guitar skills which I keep neglecting and snapped string for the first time in fuck if I can recall but yeah just wanted to give an update even if you guys don't read/reply to these

So uh been a minute but I was able to write some more stuff for NP,SLT. I'm not done with the chapter and I'm not happy with where I took the fight scene near the end so I'm going to rewrite that but besides that I do apologize for the lack of a chapter it'll probably happen again just be patient with me.
          
          This is the first story I've written and I'm still self conscious about my writing style even with the fact I've been writing for 3 years... in 4 months it'll actually be 4 years. But I digress I'm still getting used to a story telling format being good with words doesn't necessarily help with that I also hope you guys can ignore some of the spelling mistakes I've noticed I made a few in the first three chapters all of them are minor imo. I'm go back and copy them from the app and run em through my spell checking doc I'm not sure why I forgot to do that in the first place but I'm human a deeply flawed human but I've learned from my mistake.

So uh imposter syndrome has been hitting me harder than the time my dad dropped me on my head when I was five(true fact btw). Mostly because a close friend said I'm a talented writer, I don't believe that like at all despite the amount of people who have said the same thing about me. So yeah sorry about the lack of an update for no pain, so little time I haven't even worked on the next chapter apart from the brief time after getting back into my Gmail account.

So I doubt you guys read this but update. Got a new yet old phone got back into my main email account. And I did work a little bit on the next chapter.... But I've um been getting into playing guitar after like 18 years and well it's um kinda taken priority but I'll get back to writing soon might be today. The fight scene so far feels like flame broiled garbage but I might just be harsh on myself for no reason. 
          
          So yeah brief update tl:dr broke old phone got new phone getting used to it and have been getting distracted by playing a guitar again will try to focus on no pain, so little time.

So uh I broke my phone and don't have access to my google docs which is where I write everything because I don't have access to my gmail account forgot the password google is being fuck all in terms of helping with account recover. "You account recovery request was cancelled because you're still signed on a device use the device you're signed in on to reset your password." Gee fucking wiz if I'm using a back up email adresss to reset my main account password odds are the device that account is signed in on is fucking borked beyond hell. So I'll try to figure something out entil this mess is resovled. I'm sorry for the inconvenience I caused by letting anger choke me.