Prt. 1 - Sorry those that will and will not see this. I haven't been entirely honest to you guys... sorry but I've pulled my classic blunder here once more of accidentally deleting an app while "Purging" my phone and completely forgetting about it. My fault, and very sorry for it. My promise on book/books have not been kept. I do want the current books in my draft to be published but I sadly don't have the fondness of what the books were about then as I do now. So I don't know what will happen to them. I also don't know if I will write for a while. I'm still needing to improve my English as I feel I write very bad. And I don't want to start something then lose interest in it as for the past two maybe three years I've been suffering with something called Ennui. Now this isn't something like a heart attack or cancer or something that endangers my life. I mean in a way it has endangered my life which I will get to later on. Ennui is a special type of boredom. Ennui is the state when you get bored of everything at a very fast rate. Because of this I get bored extremely easy in fact unless I'm talking to someone or with someone, I'm always bored though I still get bored while with people, It is just a little slower while hanging out with people. This makes it hard to write as 1. I lose the fun in writing very and I mean very fast 2. I lose interest in what I'm writing about very fast as well making me in an almost constant writing block. Now onto why/how it endangers my life, for those that don't know like most people on this platform I'm not that old in fact I'm in some cases still not legal yet (In America) and since I have Ennui I don't have interests in jobs really meaning money income ain't the best also Ennui has really made depression worse if anything. For the past three years I've been able to find at least two or three reasons to keep going now... I haven't been able to find any since the start of the year. Meaning I've been on the verge of suicide for a while.
