enha_xn
Thank you sm sweetie ^^
Engene_starz
eelectricjayy
Thank you for adding my book cutesy ^^
Engene_starz
Can i kill who ever issues in charge of C9 entertainment because what do you mean Keum has left EPEX after not hearing anything about him on his hiatus which lasted over 5 months. They've lost Keum and Jinyoung from CIX in the same year. Can't forget what they did to Cignature either.
Engene_starz
Chapter 2 is finally out after a month of no updates, I do apologize for the delay but I am trying to do more constant updates. <3
I just published "Chapter 2 - The Party" of my story "Smoke and Reverie JakeHoon". https://www.wattpad.com/1583432296?utm_source=android&utm_medium=profile&utm_content=share_published&wp_page=create_on_publish&wp_uname=Engene_starz
Engene_starz
Yay snow in the middle of November, we'll end up getting none in December now.
soobesque
@Engene_starz for me it snowed at 2, 3 and 4 am and then it started raining and snowing at the same time. i really wanted snow for my birthday
Engene_starz
@soobesque It melted away too, I miss it already, but it only snowed at 5am and that was it
Engene_starz
Why is wanting to get further education so expensive in the UK like a one year course at my local uni is 9k for one year. And don't even get me started on college courses.
Nixie_pixie
@enhypensuki so true dude... Here in India all they are doing is sucking out money from students atp... And in school they are simply completing the syllabus... The yearly fee is like 6-7 lakh
Engene_starz
@soobesque Like what is my geography A level going to get me. My dad wants me to go back into education as the job market near me is absolutely terrible for people like me who's never worked before
Engene_starz
Where tf is this rain coming from it's been pouring it down since midnight non stop
Engene_starz
@soobesque I like the rain especially if I'm in my room and can hear it but if I'm outside I absolutely despise it lol
soobesque
@Engene_starz the wind gets really bad here, i didn't mind the rain so much since i like it
Engene_starz
@soobesque I'm so glad I don't live in Nottingham but I saw other areas on the news flooding. Was the rain and wind bad for you?
Engene_starz
Finally started writing again so hopefully a chapter by tommorow should be published <3
Engene_starz
Why do i randomly make story scenarios in my head. Like I make such good ideas but I can never write them (ᵕ—ᴗ—)
luvgyu17
@Engene_starz me I badly wanna write it but I sometimes dunno how to put it into words n I'm good in writing long stories TT
Engene_starz
I need to rant about my personal life since it's honestly stressing me out. And I don't know if I'm being selfish for thinking this way.
(More will be in the replies)
So basically I've been getting mentally tired with my life for like the past couple of months. If you didn't know I'm the eldest out of my two siblings (half siblings) and our parents have split up so we live with our mum. So for the past 2 and half years I've been looking after my siblings before my sister moved out. I was in sixth form at the time when it happened so alot of my time I spent looking after my brother in the afternoons as my mum worked 1pm till 6pm but didn't get home till 8pm. So I'd pick my brother up from his school, cook him dinner, clean the house make sure he did his homework. And then finally I could do my own coursework but by then I feel tired already so I didn't focus properly or ended rushing through it. This happened for two academic years and I had already dropped two lessons because I was so burnt out from caring after my brother and revising for my Geography A-level.
I did want to go to University after but because I only had one A-level with a low score I was unable to enroll and even then I would be unable to go as my mum had changed her shifts to Mon-Fri and 5am till 11am so being able to travel to university would be impossible as the bus for it is at 9am. So being unable to go further I ended up deciding it will be best to look for jobs but none of the jobs I found would work with the times as I had to work around my mums working hours as well as taking in the fact my brother would have his school half terms so I wouldn't be able to have a job that would start before 12pm since that was the time our mum would arrive home.
Amethyst_Atherton
@Engene_starz honest to god babe you are not being selfish. And you already do so much for your brother, maybe you should just sit him down and tell him that you are a human and he doesn't always need help with things. In this day and age if he's having trouble downloading a game he can figure it out. I'm not saying his wellbeing isn't important, but he should really only be asking for help for things that ACTUALLY are important. And I totally understand you feeling like your missing out, I spent my entire life indoors, desperate to do what all the other kids were doing and have fun. It's probably too late for me to have any fun, but you've still got time to enjoy yourself. Maybe you can talk to your mother about all this stress you've got. Maybe try and get a schedule, you could buy a wall chart and map out days where you should be able to have free time and negotiate. I've often found that it's hard to argue against a wall chart. Especially if it's well thought out. And don't stress too much about things, you're still pretty young, and the future isn't set in stone.
sililune
@Engene_starz if you can, please try to find even small moments just for yourself. maybe it’s listening to music alone, journaling, watching a show something that’s yours, even if it’s only 15 minutes. you deserve those moments, no matter what anyone says. and i hope someday soon you get the chance to actually live your own life to study, to work, to go out, to breathe freely. because you deserve that. you deserve peace, joy, and rest after everything you’ve carried. you’re not selfish. you’re just tired of being the strong one all the time. and that’s okay
sililune
@Engene_starz and you’re allowed to be tired. you’re allowed to want a break. you’re allowed to want a life of your own. wanting time for yourself doesn’t make you selfish it makes you human. you’re nineteen. you should be figuring out who you are, what makes you happy, what you want to do — not constantly worrying about whether dinner is cooked or the house is clean. i think what hurts most in your story is how invisible you’ve probably felt. people see the things you do, but not what it costs you. they see a “responsible daughter,” not a teenager who’s quietly falling apart because no one ever gives her space to just be. you’ve been surviving instead of living, and that’s heartbreaking. as for your brother he’s still a kid, and it’s not really his fault for not understanding how much pressure you’re under. but it’s completely fair for you to feel angry and frustrated. no one should be waking you up, demanding you cook after everything you already do. you deserve rest. you deserve to have your boundaries respected. and your mom, even though she works hard and probably loves you deeply, might not fully realize how much weight she’s put on your shoulders. sometimes parents don’t see it they think you’re “helping out,” but they don’t see that you’ve taken on everything. i wish i could hug you right now because you sound like you’ve been holding all this in for so long. i want you to know that your feelings are completely valid the anger, the exhaustion, the sadness, even the guilt. but you have nothing to feel guilty for. you’ve been doing the best you can in a situation that’s just too heavy for one person.