Enjolraswannabe

THE NEW INDIANA JONES MOVIE MY BELOVED

Nah cause shout out to anyone who was not a gifted kid who was below average in everything and now everyone is like “waaah how come you get straight a’s without even trying you’re such a genius” and you have to be like “no I actually work really mf hard” and you’re starting to think if another nd kid whines to you about how you just Have it Better and aren’t as Mentally Ill as them there’s going to be blood

Reasons I want short hair: a poem 
          - to be a flapper 
          - to be a Musketeer 
          - free the back of my neck 
          - to get called a young man for humor reasons 
          - for that posh 40s girl vibe  
          - for that messy grunge boy vibe 
          - for peak masc chick energy 
          - for all the vibes I desire 
          - mom 
          - please 
          - it grows back 
          - like so so so fast mom

I’m back on my au bullshit. I present: stay-at-home dad 
          
          like modern AU he gets diagnosed with bipolar and kind of just quietly retires from the military cause he’s much higher up at that point and he’s not allowed to serve anymore; he gets disability money for that and his anxiety so he doesn’t necessarily need to get a job. (George is taking care of his boy. This is special treatment. Vet benefits aren’t always that good) Eliza is an engineer/urban planner, (she’d def be adhd/dyslexic in this au) and she works for the city commissioner. The more kids they have, the more she is a “government official” and he’s never really been able to get back to college so he stays at home and writes. Probably at first real spicy political thrillers with very nuanced (and tender, consensual) sex & legal drama, but Phil gets older so he starts this epic fantasy series for middle grade readers, eventually tackling dystopian YA books by his early 40s (they all fit remarkably well into a query letter… until you’ve read them) He has a bomb ass garden instead of a front lawn, is the right-hand man of the PTO, and may be single-handedly steering the local HOA out of bigotry into the realm of usefulness. Halloween is his JAM, he is the Guy With The Epic Costume (St. Croix wasn’t safe enough to trick or treat) Fourth of July is a whole block party, he’s always finding ways to rope the whole church into charity over Easter & Christmas and has been in charge of missions trips for the youth group 3 years in a row. (They do hard work with tangible results now, never again r they going to Africa to sightsee & coming back w lies about how they made a blind man see.) That pink ruffly apron is his. It has always been his. He bought it bc he likes it.

Ignore that! It’s pride month! Yay!

U ever feel like you can’t write anything ppl will see as deep and meaningful but u also can’t write anything happy and wish fulfillment ey so you’re stuck in limbo where you pour your heart and soul out only to be told you “sound like you read a lot” in crit

Other fans: let Betsey commit one crime! (Implied that this crime is her killing her husband) 
          
          Me: let Betsey commit one crime (knocking burr’s teeth out)

*kicks down door*
          
          
          WEREWOLF BETSEY

TUCKER CARLSON GOT KICKED OFF AIR IM SCREAMING

I’m going to die amrev isn’t American revolution on this site RRRRRR