Hello everyone, I'm Sanyukta. I'm an Indian. I'm a female. I'm my parents' daughter. And I'm an aspiring modern, independent and successful woman.
Although I don't think that this aspiration will ever be true. I'll always be dependent on someone because of my fear. For my safety.
I'll always be on call while traveling in a cab. I'll also want a man to walk me home at night. I'll always hide behind another colleague if I ever face a creepy colleague at my workplace.
I've always wanted to live in a nice 2 BHK apartment someday. One bedroom for me, and one for my kid (a pet dog that I'll adopt, a golden retriever ig). But I don't know if I would. What if a man violates me, knowing I live alone.
How would I stand up for right in the future, knowing it might lead to my ruins? I guess I'll just mind my own business, and stay safe with shame and guilt, rather than face being harassed.
I wrote a poem last night, and a part of it goes like:
"Shall I just hide in a shell?
Not talk to people, and stay away from hell
But I was told to rise and soar high
What about the dreams, to bring myself to light?
How would a woman, want to be empowered?
If they fear, of being raped by power?
Is just existing an invitation to men
To force and assault us in their den?"
In this male dominated world, I don't want to live. Because I don't have the safety and security I need. I don't want to rise high as I don't want attention to myself.
Signing off.
Sanyukta
PS. I'm always dependent on my luck for my safety.