Jason Todd Grey

epic

As a present to myself I unpublished most of my rtas book

What the

REEEEEE IT'S BEGUN1!!!11
          A CERTAIN BET WITH A GENIE WAS MADE LONG AGO
          AND THANKS TO ALL OF YOU AMAZING READERS AND MY 
          (1) [Semi]ACTIVE FOLLOWER (love ya newbie) 
          I HAVE WON THIS BET
          1K READS HAS BEEN ACHIEVED
          HA
          YES
          BAM
          EXITED NOISES
          I'M REALLY NOT EVEN ACTIVE ANYMORE (sorry) AND WE STILL MADE IT
          
          Thank you all seriously it's so cool to finally be there, to know that 1,000 people have read one of my books and (hopefully) enjoyed doing so blows my mind.
          I know 1,000 isn't a lot to some people (who get ten thousand views an hour after they post something) but to me this means so much and I just want to thank you all and that's all thanks for being such cool beans my dudes thats totally tubular, see ya on the other side of this totally lit adventure my radical bros and broettes.
          *cringe*

Dangit I forgot again
          Yesterday was my third Wattpad b-day
          

These images race frantically through my mind, indistinguishable one from the next, there are too many.
               I have not witnessed these events.
          They have not witnessed me.
          So why then, is it that I see faces of people I do not know when I close my eyes?
               I have not seen or spoken to these people to my knowledge.
          I theorize they are people I walk past on streets, but I know not the streets my mind places them on.
               They are dark, or colorful, or unnaturally white, stone replaced by heavy, imposing brick.
          Their eyes sometimes move, though their faces do not.
                And the faint ticking of an old clock from an earlier part of my life grows louder into a physical sound, as if it were there somewhere in my room.
               This scares me the most as I own no clock.
               I am under the constant impression that I am alone in large crowds of people, and I wonder if they too feel the same way.
               Then it all stops, noise fades away until all I hear is a strange quiet digitalized scratching noise, and if I focus, a perpetual high pitched ringing can be heard, and the constant pressure I feel against my skull grows stronger.
               The desire to surrender to a chaos I know is accessible in this world increases.
               I believe I would die if I gave over.
               The patterns I see when I press my palms against my closed eyes are beautiful displays.
                But when I open my eyes again the world looses it color and wilts to brown.
                I have to fight powerfully against my own eyes to make them focus again, and moments later color is restored, but I alone am left with the unnerving feeling that I may have been closer to seeing the true world during those moments.
               So I ask truthfully because i cannot be sure I know, where am I?

Happy birthday to me
          It's i-s day three
          Si-ince the da-ay
          I should have actually posted this
          
          100101
          
          My birthday looks like binary lol
          

Sooooo...
          I'm back on guess.
          
          Idek how many of you guys still check out my account, but I might continue working on my book Acrid.
          
          And I'll do that daily update thing on my RTAS (Random Thoughts and Stuff) book.
          
          I'll also be taking suggestions on books you would like me to write, and how chapters in my book Acrid should play out.

I'm putting my dog down tomorrow and I've known him literally my whole life since I was born and it hurts so bad and I want to cry but I don't even know what to think because I've never walked into my house and not seen his wagging tail and happy face rushing over to meet me, it's just... So hard for me to accept that I'm going to come home tomorrow and he won't be there anymore. My heart aches like it's being pumped full of water and it's about to burst, it's beating so loud and I just want it to shut up and quit beating. But I know he's in pain I can't even imagine, he's 94 dog years old now and the one thing that I've known always to be consistent will be gone. 
          Love is relative to a race willing to change its perspective on it every century but I think true love is just standing up to your pain and holding back tears when the other can't, and sometimes to cry with them when they need it. Pure emotion is dead to us, it has been for a long time before you or I ever even got thought up.
          The best thing I can think of to do is to continue to see color in life, to watch everything drain away because the one you loved is gone is difficult not to do. But how can you ever hope to be what they were to you if you shut yourself away? 
          And so it's strange to say, in a way, that I am learning in the most painful of things to stand up and smile, when the people or things you used to know are dead emotionally or physically and suddenly the noise quiets around you, a tiny ringing resounding in your head, as it always does when you're alone. 
          Time can be used in many ways, reflection upon what could have been and what you could have done, reflections on missed opportunities and people you regret never loving the way you should've. But it can also be used to reach out to others and form or strengthen the bonds of family or friends nearly dissolved, you have a unique way to touch someone's live with the life you yourself have been given and I think it's best not to give that away.

Entomology be like...
          
          
          [Entomology is busy]
          
          
          (Lifeline Players will know)