I used to write dirty carrot porn, yeah, sure, we've all had that kind of phase.

But now, I am enlightened.

Carrots are a bleak, naive reminder of my (somewhat) innocent childhood; I have grown so much since those times and I am here today to re-shape the image of my writing into something so much deeper. 

When I stare into the blazing rays of the sun, I feel a wondrous sensation deep underneath my lumpy, white skin. And it isn't that I'm slowly developing blindness from staring into the sun, but that the sun, like a young carrot, is orange but occasionally yellow and is rumored to impact your sight in some way. It is only when I stare into the sun do I see it: my true calling. I always thought the sun was a symbol of carrots, but now, I know what it truly means. It means that I am not actually developing blindness but actually a really bad sunburn. It hurts. Ouch. 

After applying some aloe Vera to my irritated, boiling skin, I've decided to take a cold shower to soothe my body from the heat of summer weather. It is a rather hot one this year, I should say. I work at a crappy, old fast food restaurant with no air conditioning and sometimes when I'm working, I think about what it would be like to get bombed in Syria - because honestly, I'd rather be there than at Wendy's. (Seriously, guys? No AC? In a fast food hell portal? You guys obviously aren't gamer material because gamers know how to install a fucking fan in their computer)

Anyways, gamers, I gotta bounce.

Bounce on YA BOY'S dick.
Hey, gottem