When, as a young wandering samurai oft to be found knuckles and knives deep in trouble fighting Nazis and Romans off between drinking great quantities of ale in pubs most foul and fearless, I one day found myself bored of such slayings and searchings and tossed myself into fate's most dangerous tides and found myself delivered unto confusions most perplexing with a lovely lady of cheekbones most high and breasts to match, and after a whirlwind of romances and wrongings, ended that day with the soul of the poet and the spirit of a miserable child, sobbing into my liquor that this uncaring universe did nothing but take, before the door splintered before me and did emerge seven Nazi officers with lightsabers, ready for bruisings and battles to distract me from affairs most unfortunate and thus turning me into internet's most brilliant, and therefore useless Fallen....



O, sweet life!