One day I woke up sad.
At the start I didn't understand why my chest hurt or why I wanted to cry and stay in bed, I didn't understand till I looked at my phone's lock screen..
There, right in front of me was a date I once celebrated..A date that brought me joy now only burns my chest...
That should have been our second anniversary.
I wished I could have opened our chat and wished you a happy anniversary, I also wished I could open it up to apologise for messing everything up before we even met...
I still how we broke apart, I remember when you stopped calling me "great" or "perfect", I remember how it hurt that I felt neglected by you.
I knew you had a second lover and I was supportive like I always were, I only wanted your happiness but didn’t know it would come at the cost of us.
I missed talking to you when you were online and never said a simple hi, I got jealous when I asked about your calls and you send me that screenshot of an 88 hour call..you two talking, laughing, sleeping together on call...saying good morning to each other first thing in the morning, something I could never do..
I missed you and was sad and jealous and felt neglected so I spoke up in a way that was too harsh, I knew I shouldn't have lashed out in that way and I knew how sensitive you are..I never wanted to be that toxic person but I didn't want to feel neglected anymore...
Then you said you were scared of me...I had in that one conversation broke us up didn't I..? I hurt you badly when all I wanted was your attention...I asked for it multiple times but you were always busy so I thought telling you directly that I feel neglected would help but my emotions got out of hand...
That day I had a feeling I didn’t want to believe crying silently in my room after hurting you..I had a feeling we won't continue together...